Dayana Pereira On Death - 20190704

Dayana Pereira! Dayana is a 43yo Feldenkrais practitioner, co-parent, and transplant from Uruguay. I met Dayana, without actually introducing myself, while we alternated between the sauna and ice bath at her healing and wellness center, Koru Real Wellness.

During this conversation, we discuss the tension between her strict religious school upbringing and the Uruguayan wilderness, the difference between reverence and spirituality, and how working as a living statue in Australia taught her the importance of breath.

I hope you enjoy!

Dayana is…
here and now,
breathing,
and waking up.

Before Dayana dies, she wants…
to live life with awareness and love,
to move, breathe, and act in the world at large and in her local community as an agent of change awareness and joy,
and to have fun doing what she does best and to keep learning how to be of service to the expansion of better humans everywhere.

When Dayana dies, she wants…
to breathe and surrender,
to smile,
and to embrace death as a continuation of her life knowing that she lived with awareness of death everyday.

After Dayana dies, she wants…
to be a speck of love in the heart of those that she touched with her presence,
and to be a spark of joy and awareness to whoever remembers her.

In conclusion, Dayana says…
“Smile. Breathe. Look up.”

Nicho Watts On Death - 20190620

Nicho Watts! Nicho is a 30yo father, Christian, and trader. I grew up with Nicho as a childhood friend and we have been loosely following each other since high school graduation.

During this conversation, we discuss his return to Christianity, the importance of stories and archetypes for a developing mind, and why he wants his death to feel like taking off a watch.

I hope you enjoy!

Nicho is…
a trader,
a Christian,
a father,
and a husband.

Before Nicho dies, he wants…
to see his grandkids be successful,
and to have great grandkids.

When Nicho dies, he wants…
to feel like there is nothing left to do,
to feel like things are good to continue,
to feel like he is taking off his watch,
and one last laugh.

After Nicho dies, he wants…
life to go on.

In conclusion, Nicho says…
“Reach out to your neighbors, especially the ones you disagree with, and find a way to agree to disagree. But also, find a way to listen to each other and at least understand why it is that you disagree in the first place. That’s how we make a better world.”

Suzie Marschhausen On Death - 20190606

Suzie Marschhausen! Suzie is a 28yo mother, writer, and coach. I attended high school with Suzie and have been watching her personal and spiritual journey from afar. During this conversation, we discuss her recent Ayahuasca ceremony, the difficulty of releasing attachment as a new parent, and how the pain of abandonment takes on a new meaning for her.

I hope you enjoy!

Suzie is…
God,
a creator,
and everything.

Before Suzie dies, she wants…
tto know and live the truth of who she is,
and to have faith in her soul’s purpose to truly follow that path.

When Suzie dies, she wants…
to be fearless,
and to release loved ones from attachment.

After Suzie dies, she wants…
to do it all over again.

In conclusion, Suzie says…
“You are unconditionally loved. You are supported in every way possible that you could ever possibly imagine. You have everything you need right inside of you. I would pray that you are able to open yourself up to this. To experience life as the heaven that it is meant to be. Because we are all everything. We are all one.”

Adam Arazi On Death - 20190523

Adam Arazi! Adam is a 30yo traveler, dog-father, and son. I have known Adam for almost a decade and we have both changed dramatically over this time. Shockingly, his father died unexpectedly 10 days after recording this interview. During this conversation, we discuss his existential confusion, why he may expatriate to the Philippines, and why he intentionally does not think about sudden death.

I hope you enjoy!

Adam is…
evolving,
a husband,
a son,
a father to a dog,
very vulnerable,
confused,
and a risk-taker.

Before Adam dies, he wants…
to explore passions deeply,
to see as much of the world as possible,
and to accumulate at least one, if not more, properties that are attractive enough for his friends and family to want to come visit him.

When Adam dies, he wants…
to be very physically comfortable,
to not die in pain,
his family around him,
to not be in a hospital,
and to have a better understanding of death than he does now.

After Adam dies, he wants…
all his offspring to be happy, well-fed, rich, and loving life,
to donate everything he possibly could to science,
his body to be reincarnated into another living thing,
people to be more in tune with nature,
and to be remembered for as long as possible.

In conclusion, Adam says…
I encourage anyone listening to have conversations like this. I think it is important to stop talking about work, stop talking about sports, stop talking about celebrities, and talk about yourself, your goals, and your desires.”

Chloe Costigan On Death - 20190509

Chloe Costigan! Chloe is a 31yo physical therapist, teacher, and half-orphan. I met Chloe while interviewing her husband, John Giacalone, and quickly realized she’d be a wonderful guest. During this conversation, we discuss what makes a good clinician, why she considered herself a flight risk, and how she has been shaped by the death of her father at an early age.

I hope you enjoy!

Chloe is…
a living being.

Before Chloe dies, she wants…
more clarity,
and to help people.

When Chloe dies, she wants…
there to be stillness and peace that permeates around her.

After Chloe dies, she wants…
people to continue to benefit from the time she spent on this earth.

In conclusion, Chloe says…
I’ve always identified so strongly with myself as an individual, but I’m beginning to realize more and more that we as individuals make up a community and a variety of communities. I think that one of the best ways to thrive as an individual is by relating to your community and I think that we go about doing that with empathy and vulnerability. I would strongly encourage people to embrace their lives in that way.

It’s like, it’s okay we’re all struggling and struggling becomes a really loose definition for living life as we know it. Honing that sense of community can really give you such a strong foundation for living a life as fulfilling as you want it to be. And, of course, that community can be as broad or as narrow as you want it to be.

But I really think it comes down to vulnerability and empathy. And I really strongly encourage people to embrace those two aspects.



Eugene Kim Once Again - 20190425

Eugene Kim Once Again! Eugene is a 29yo student, recorder, and gamer. In the nearly three years since his original interview, Eugene has been physically much closer to life and death. During this conversation, we talk about everything from: being indoor humans and how one day we might be more apelike to the game of Go/Baduk. The importance of connectedness and community shine throughout our conversation with an optimistic look forwards toward his future as a psychiatrist, father, and human.

I hope you enjoy!

Eugene is…
a student,
a recorder,
and a gamer.

Before Eugene dies, he…
still wants to be a grandfather,
to see all his children reach sexual maturity - ideally longer,
to feel like he has done enough weird shit with his MD to feel like it was worth it,
and a period of a year with Mackenzi, going back to a couple.

When Eugene dies, he wants…
to be enjoying it,
to have fun dying,
and to have expressed love recently to many people.

After Eugene dies, he wants…
to move through the temporal dimension freely,
humans to no longer be the dominant life form on this planet,
humans to get off the ground,
and Mackenzi to have a whole lot of fun.

In conclusion, Eugene says…
“Practice something. Practice all the time. You don’t need to practice the same thing all the time. Just keep practicing and pursuing mastery and getting better, as a gamer would be getting better: trying to speed run through a level of a difficult video game.

Just have fun practicing.

Don’t allow yourself to be lulled into complacency by a plateau. Understand that a plateau is just your lack of perspective.

Just keep practicing. Keep trying to get better at stuff. Because once you stop trying to get better, things are over. You’re dead.

So just keep trying to get better!”



Mackenzi Kim Once Again - 20190411

Mackenzi Kim Returns! Mackenzi is a 27yo mother, 4th year medical student, and future family medicine physician. In the intervening three years since her initial interview (the first ever On Death episode!), she dove headfirst into a relationship, married her partner, and birthed a wonderful son.

During this emotionally vulnerable conversation, we discuss her lessons from the deaths of family members, what she has learned from a few months of motherhood, and how she imagines a wonderful reunion with loved ones after death.

I hope you enjoy!

Mackenzi is…
a student,
and becoming.

Before Mackenzi dies, she wants…
to effect positive change,
to see her children grow up and leave the house,
to physically see more parts of the world,
to continue learning and growing,
and to foster greater connections and deeper relationships.

When Mackenzi dies, she wants…
a moment to accept what's happening.

After Mackenzi dies, she wants…
those she loves to have a level of comfort in their lives,
humanity to get their shit together,
and to join that collective.

In conclusion, Mackenzi says…
"Life is an incredible opportunity. Just enjoy it. Enjoy that opportunity. Take it and don't squander it. Love as much as you can. Learn as much as you can. Do as much as you can."


2019 Season Prospective - 20190328

This week, I tease a bit of the upcoming 2019 Season of the On Death Podcast! During this solo-cast, I review some of the changes in my life this past winter. Then, I provide some sneak previews into the 2019 Season ahead. Happy Spring! I hope that your year is off to a strong period of growth.

I hope you enjoy!


Jim Goodreau On Death [REPOST] - 20180816

Jim Goodreau! Jim is a 71yo retired vascular surgeon, Air Force brat, and grieving father. I met Jim as a coach for my medical school program, SELECT, and I’ve been itching to sit down with him to dig through his rich and profound life experiences. During this conversation, we discuss his time as a Naval surgeon covering a huge swath of patients, his two strokes, and the immense losses of two of his sons.

I hope you enjoy!

Jim is…
an Air Force brat,
a Roman Catholic,
a physician,
a husband,
a father,
a grandfather,
and a coach.

Before Jim dies, he wants…
to see his seniors and juniors graduate and be a part of their lives,
to enjoy his grandchildren,
to somehow solve the problem of his disabled brother and disabled sister in Chicago,
to take on another class,
to the see world come to a sense of peace,
to lose some weight,
to get back to playing golf,
and to walk in the Out Of The Darkness walk.

When Jim dies, he wants…
to not be a burden to anybody in the closing moments of his life,
to go out quietly, maybe not wake up tomorrow with his kindle by the bedside,
to be remembered as someone who tried to do the right thing,
to not die in the hospital,
and to write a letter to the medical students that will dissect him.

After Jim dies, he wants…
his children and their children to live in a world where they can prosper.

In conclusion, Jim says…
“There’s a quote and I’m gonna say it wrong, and it comes in three parts:
Whatever happened before, you can’t change it. You can learn from it, but don’t wallow in it. Get over it. It’s done.
Whatever we’re doing today, do the best you can do. Think it through. That’s the big thing. Just think it through and try to do the right thing. And of course we can argue about that.
And the other is: Don’t be afraid of tomorrow. It’s coming, but prepare yourself.”


Bansi Savla On Death [REPOST] - 20160525

Bansi Savla! Bansi is a medical student, a Jain, and an incredibly thoughtful 22-year-old. During this lovely conversation, we talk about time, death, her faith, all in a way that is relatable and digs at essential truths.

I hope you enjoy!

Bansi is…
a part of everything,
time,
and a friend.

Before Bansi dies, she wants…
not to want.

When Bansi dies, she wants…
to be at peace with herself.

After Bansi dies, she wants…
to break the cycle of birth and death,
another adventure,
and ultimate truth.

In conclusion, Bansi says…
“Enjoy the ride. Do you. That’s what matters.”


Michael Caron On Death [REPOST] - 20180426

Michael Caron! Michael is a 40yo father, coach, and motivator. I met Michael while at a yoga teacher training and we have kept in touch ever since. I chose this time to interview him because of the recent birth of his son, Stadler, who was 1mo old at the time.

We dive deep into one of the hardest months of his life, with the death of a life-long friend as a result of brain cancer and the loss of his matriarch grandmother. He read the eulogy at both services and I’m sure the stories will leave an impression on you, like they did me.

Additionally during this energizing conversation, we discuss his formative years through a semester at sea, the wonder of being a new father while being present for a stepdaughter, and his philosophy on leadership and self-development.

I hope you enjoy!

Ayden is…
Alive,
A writer,
An artist
An assistant director of a company that studies one person's experiences
A lover
A reader
Active
In love
Happy

Before Ayden dies, she wants…
To write another book, at least,
More humans to encounter their own humanity,
To Continue to travel,
To show some of her artwork in galleries,
To have a home,
People to think differently

When Ayden dies, she wants…
To feel at peace,
It to be a moment of acceptance

After Ayden dies, she wants…
All her loved ones to be healthy and happy

In conclusion, Ayden says…
“I hope [your listeners] can be curious about the world around them.”


Ayden LeRoux On Death [REPOST] - 20180607

Ayden LeRoux! Ayden is a 29yo artist, writer, and BRCA1+ human. I’ve known Ayden since my grade school days where we won a swing dancing competition together and we haven’t spoken for almost half a decade, this interview served a chance to catch up and see where life has taken us. During this conversation, we discuss the intertwining of science and magic to predict her future health, Land Art installations as spirituality, and how a partner changes our plans for death.

I hope you enjoy!

Ayden is…
Alive,
A writer,
An artist
An assistant director of a company that studies one person's experiences
A lover
A reader
Active
In love
Happy

Before Ayden dies, she wants…
To write another book, at least,
More humans to encounter their own humanity,
To Continue to travel,
To show some of her artwork in galleries,
To have a home,
People to think differently

When Ayden dies, she wants…
To feel at peace,
It to be a moment of acceptance

After Ayden dies, she wants…
All her loved ones to be healthy and happy

In conclusion, Ayden says…
“I hope [your listeners] can be curious about the world around them.”


Kristen Prosen On Death [REPOST] - 20170316

Kristen Prosen! Kristen is a 26yo herbalist, yoga teacher, and scared white woman. I've had the pleasure of learning Thai yoga massage from her and she teaches with grace and understanding. In this conversation, we discuss the universal relationship of plants, activism through addressing cultural bias, and the death of her grandmother.I hope you enjoy!

Kristen is…
embodied heart presence,
an herbalist,
a yogi,
a white woman,
scared,
a witch,
an activist,
and a servant.

Before Kristen dies, she wants…
to be a mother,
to have a house,
and to write a book.

When Kristen dies, she wants…
to be graceful.

After Kristen dies, she wants…
to not worry about it,
and to be cremated.

In conclusion, Kristen says…
"You are whole already.

I know it's not enough for me to say that you're whole to feel that you're whole. There's a lot of life experiences that you're gonna have to go through and a lot of grasping and running from pain and a lot of cultivating that will lead you to that realization so that it sits in your body and in your heart and in your mind, but you are.

You are already whole. You are already home.

And drink some plants."


Dane Rahaman Singh On Death - 20160922

Dane Rahaman-Singh! Dane is a 22yo shaman, martial artist, and mutual friend of previous guest Tavia Rahki Smith. I met Dane a few weeks ago and he’s definitely on my list of interesting folks to keep tabs on. In this conversation we talk about the recent passing of his best friend, the path of a shaman, and why he’s an optimist.

I hope you enjoy!

Dane is…
a vigorous human filled with energy that he wants to share with the rest of the planet,
a shaman,
a martial artist,
a yogi,
a meditator,
and a samurai.

Before Dane dies, he wants…
peace,
to not die unfulfilled,
and to merge the segments of his mind.

When Dane dies, he wants…
to actually die.

After Dane dies, he wants…
to be dead.

In conclusion, Dane says…
“Trust yourself and know where you can put your energy, how much energy you have to put to things. If it’s not making you happy, it’s not someplace to put your energy.

You always have the energy within yourself to make you happy. Even if it’s literally just puffing your chest out, putting a smile on your face, and holding it for three minutes.”


2018 Retrospective - 20181221

This week, I reflect on the first discrete season of the On Death Podcast!

During this solo-cast, I review the 19 wonderful and intimate interviews that comprised this 2018 Season. Then, I provide some sneak previews into the 2019 Season ahead.

Happy Winter Solstice! I hope that your year dies gracefully and your year begins well.

Becky Orton On Death - 20181206

Becky Orton! Becky is a 45yo mother, CrossFitter, and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I met Becky while coaching at CrossFit Juggernaut in NH before entering medical school: she and her daughter would workout together and I initially thought they were sisters! A testament to her energy and love of life.

During this conversation, we discuss motherhood and the story of her eight children (four biological and four adoptive), the experience of losing Ben, and the rewards of fostering medically fragile children.

I hope you enjoy!

Becky is…
a 45 year old wife of 25 years,
a mother to eight children,
a CrossFitter,
a member of the Church of Latter-day Saints,
and a joyful person.

Before Becky dies, she wants…
to serve a humanitarian mission with her husband,
and to travel to see her children.

When Becky dies, she wants…
to leave behind a legacy of love.

After Becky dies, she wants…
to see her children continue that legacy and just be good humans and make the world a better place.

In conclusion, Becky says…
“There are so many children that need homes. So many children. Especially with this drug epidemic. So many babies are being taken away.

Obviously I wouldn’t go back and change my biological children, but had I known sooner I maybe would’ve adopted in between having biological children. The need is just so great and it is the most rewarding experience that you can have. And I say that 100%. I don’t know what could be more rewarding than taking in a child that needs a home.

I encourage people to do it!”


Jerel Mair Once Again - 20181122

Jerel Mair Once Again! Jerel is a 30yo follower of Christ, soon-to-be physician, and black man. Since the initial interview two and a half years ago, Jerel has joined the workforce and is currently preparing for the MCAT to enter medical school.

During this conversation, we discuss the trap of the greasy rope, why he revels in talking to other humans, and what he learned from the deaths of his grandparents who served as his parents.

I hope you enjoy!

Jerel is…
a follower of Christ,
a student of wisdom,
and black.


Before Jerel dies, he wants…
reconciliation,
and a clear definition with his family.

When Jerel dies, he wants…
to leave behind a legacy.

After Jerel dies, he wants…
to be with Jesus.

In conclusion, Jerel says…
"I hope that my life was an instrument of God's design and that my life left no doubt about what I was called here to do. My hope is that you will find the same calling for Christ and follow that same direction."


Camille Imbo Once Again - 20181108

Camille Imbo! Camille is a 26yo OB/GYN resident physician and suicide survivor. Between the August 2017 initial interview and this conversation, Camille has finished medical school, attempted suicide, and begun her intern year of residency. We discuss the challenge of asking for help when you know how the system works, why the two interviews feel like two separate people, and how she has grown so much in only a year.

I hope you enjoy!

Camille is…
an intern,
26,
and growing.


Before Camille dies, she wants…
to live,
to feel like she gave it her all,
her little sisters to be self-sufficient and to have learned everything they could have learned from her,
to love and to be loved,
and to be in a space where she can provide love without the fear that she’s suddenly going to take it away.

When Camille dies, she wants…
to have lived a full life,
and to have not gotten in her own way.

After Camille dies, she wants…
to continue to be present for people that need her.

In conclusion, Camille says…
“Take each day as it comes and to really value every positive moment that happens. You don’t need to stop yourself from enjoying what you can enjoy.”


Randall Sheffield Once Again - 20181025

Randall Sheffield! Randall is a 29yo doctor of physical therapy, yogi, and friend. Since our previous conversation about 18mo ago, Randall has graduated from PT school, developed himself spiritually, and stepped into his role as a speaker and teacher. During this conversation, we discuss how Gainesville, FL kicked off his spiritual journey, why he hasn’t touched a barbell in weeks, and Randall relates a recent brush with mortality off the beach of Costa Rica.

I hope you enjoy!

Randall is…
this being,
this energetic source,
and here right now living the best life he can.


Before Randall dies, he wants…
to affect a million people,
and to go to a slackline festival out in Utah.

When Randall dies, he wants…
it to be peaceful,
and to be with his family and friends.

After Randall dies, he wants…
to be buried with the trees.

In conclusion, Randall says…
“To anyone listening that may be dealing with something that they have weighing on their heart, I would tell them to run at it head on, to go for it, to take the risk, because you never know until you try.

Yes, it may be scary, it may be frightening, there may be a whole lotta fear.

But in essence, you looking at it and you just being, 'alright yeah this is scary, but this is what I feel like I’m here to do,' and by acting out of courage or faith, whatever you want to call it, taking that initial step, the universe will back you up and will help you get you to where you need to go.”


Ashley Caron On Death - 20181011

Ashley Caron! Ashley is a 36yo Burly human, athlete, and badass mom. I met Ashley through her spouse, Michael, a previous interviewee on the podcast who is equally motivated and inspirational. During this conversation, we discuss the challenges of motherhood at 26 versus 36, the early death of her uncle, and why she wants desserts on her deathbed.

I hope you enjoy!

Ashley is...
a badass mom,
funny to a fault,
very efficient,
a hot mess express,
very passionate,
loving,
and generous.


Before Ashley dies, she wants...
her kids to feel completely empowered in life,
to go to Switzerland,
to Get Burly,
and to have one whole vacation with her and her husband.


When Ashley dies, she wants...
a peaceful environment,
and a lot of desserts.


After Ashley dies, she wants...
to be able to look down and look at this earth and be like, “ya’ll are doing great, everybody is getting along, nobody’s picking fights, nobody’s trolling anybody, and everybody’s getting burly.”
people to be thankful they knew her
people to be happy they know about Get Burly
and them to have that long-lasting fire in them.


In conclusion, Ashley says...
“If you’re listening to this and you’re a new mom, you’re a veteran mom, or you’re a woman and you have any inkling or any desire to do something completely out of your comfort zone, you have no experience you don’t even know where to start, but you’re thinking about it.
If you’re thinking about it, do it. Because you will spent the rest of your life thinking about it until one day you spent the rest of your life regretting that you didn’t do it.
It’s now or never.
Put in the work. Put in the freaking work.
If you have a why, a strong enough why, if your why is so purposeful, the how is so easy.”