Bansi Savla Once Again - 2021JAN

Bansi Savla Once Again! Bansi is a 26yo wife, radiation oncology resident, and mother of three ferrets. In the four years since our first interview in May 2016, Bansi has graduated medical school, finished her transitional year of residency, and begun the road to mastery in the field of radiation oncology. In this conversation, we discuss how and why she changed in those four years, the story of her courtship and marriage, and how it is difficult to choose a death when you know how people die these days.

I hope you enjoy!

Bansi is…
a resident in radiation oncology,
a wife,
a mother of three ferrets,
a daughter,
a daughter-in-law,
and a neighbor.

Before Bansi dies,
to be a master in her field,
and wants to be okay with where she is.

When Bansi dies,
wants enough time and to be functional enough to say the things she wants to say and do the things she wants to do,
and wants something that lets her down gently.

After Bansi dies,
she wants her kids to be fully functioning and independent people,
and she wants to continue to have omniscient powers.

In conclusion, Bansi says…
“Laugh.
Have fun.
Don’t worry.
It’s all good.
Even when it’s not.
It’s going to be okay.”

Lobynn Cha - 2020DEC

Lobynn Cha! Lobynn is a 25yo daughter, entrepreneur, small business owner, and chef. I met Lobynn at her wonderful restaurant Little Miss Korea in Allentown, PA. During this conversation, we discuss her vagabond upbringing by missionary parents, how Koreans and Italians have more in common than you’d think, and how she navigates running a small business with her family. I hope you enjoy!

I hope you enjoy!

Lobynn is…
a daughter,
a sister,
a life partner,
a business woman,
and a student.

Before Lobynn dies, she wants…
to travel to all the places she wants to go,
to have a family,
to have financial freedom,
and to spend time with her family.

When Lobynn dies, she wants…
a really fun funeral if she dies young.

After Lobynn dies, she wants…
to give things to her grandchildren.

In conclusion, Lobynn says…
“If you have a vision and you have this recurring picture that you want to achieve, just go for it. Because it is all attainable.”

Stephen Jenkinson - 2020NOV

Stephen Jenkinson! Stephen is a 66yo teacher, author, story-teller, and musician. I met Stephen first through his incredible book, Die Wise, and truly enjoyed this conversation with a man who has spent time in the trenches and has already forgotten more about death than I will likely learn in my remaining life. During this conversation, he appropriately eviscerates the premise of the four prompts, we discuss how right/wrong is meaningless in the context of fulfilling the wolf’s role, and how advanced directives are a final grasp at control and autonomy.

I hope you enjoy!

You can find more about Stephen Jenkinson and his work at Orphan Wisdom here: www.orphanwisdom.com

You can find more about Stephen Jenkinson’s and Gregory Hoskin’s recent album DARK ROADS/ROUGH GODS here: www.orphanwisdom.com/dark-roads-rough-gods

Matt Michaud - 2020OCT

Matt Michaud! Matt is a 35yo firefighter, paramedic, CrossFit affiliate owner, father, and husband. I met Matt when I lived in NH and I had the great privilege of coaching at his CrossFit gym. In this conversation, we discuss how he processed the recent news of his wife’s breast cancer diagnosis, the unexpected dangers associated with firefighting, and how his children help him leave those dangers at work.

I hope you enjoy!

Matt is…
a firefighter paramedic,
a CrossFit affiliate owner,
a father,
and a husband.

Before Matt dies, he wants...
to set up his family for success,
to live his life as a good person,
and to go and experience things.

When Matt dies, he wants...
to be surrounded by people he cares about.

After Matt dies, he wants...
to be remembered by his family in a positive way,
and things in his life that live on.

In conclusion, Matt says…
“If you are somebody who is having a tough time in your life and you want to get yourself out of the predicament you are in, I think one thing you can do to make everything better is to see where you can help others because you’ll get satisfaction out of that and it is going to feel very rewarding and help you feel better about who you are and what you are. And it’s going to dictate who you are going to become in the future.”

Alexander Minot - 2020SEP

Alexander Minot! Alexander is a 30yo son, partner, and dog father. I met Alexander in the years after college, through previous guest Adam Arazi. During this conversation, we discuss his Jewish upbringing, the death of his father two years ago, and the challenges of bringing his family together in the wake of that death.

I hope you enjoy!

Alexander is...
a man in the middle of his life, going through a lot of changes and entering the second phase,
and in a good place in his life.

Before Alexander dies, he wants...
to leave his world and his family in a better place than before he was there,
to see a lot of parts of the world,
and to build a more meaningful connection with the rest of his family.

When Alexander dies, he wants...
to be surrounded by his family,
and not in a hospital.

After Alexander dies, he wants...
to have something other than nothing.

In conclusion, Alexander says...
“Not everything is as personal as it seems. Everything is not so emotional. It’s easier to be nice. It’s harder to be a jerk.”

Alana Karma Twice Again

Alana Karma! Alana is a 24yo survivor, growing human, not a phoenix. This marks the third time Alana has joined us on the podcast, effectively ending the trilogy which began in 2017. Between that first interview and the second, she suffered a severe car accident which left her with brain damage and difficulty adjusting to her new life, as evidence in that 2018 interview. Now, almost three years after the initial interview and two years after the accident, we discuss life on the other side of forgiveness for someone that hurt you, how the coronavirus pandemic felt like everyone joining Alana in the “weird”, and how she identified with a caterpillar more than a phoenix these days.

I hope you enjoy!

Alana is...
nothing, nothing at all,
and not the Phoenix

Before Alana dies, she wants...
us to deal with this tragedy with grace,
and to become herself.

When Alana dies, she wants...
to see all these complications resolved somehow,
and to see everything on the uprise.

After Alana dies, she wants...
to be remembered in the ways that people interact with the world.

In conclusion, Alana says...
“The first thing that I’m going to say is: drop your labels! Stop identifying with who you think you are and ask yourself who you are on the inside. Live by being the best version of who you are. Not better. I don’t like that word anymore. Drop your labels. Be the best you can. Live by The Four Agreements.”

Christina G - 2017SEPT09

Christina G! Christina is a 26yo future surgeon, former Christian, and current leader. She spoke at the Student Clinician's Ceremony that kicked off my third year of medical school, and ever since then I've been itching to sit down with her. In this conversation, we discuss her complicated relationship with a Christian faith, the separation of a cash register, and the importance of integrity.

I hope you enjoy!

Christina is...
a future surgeon,
and a female.

Before Christina dies, she wants...
to make an impact on the people around her.

When Christina dies, she wants...
to be content,
to not be alone,
and to be successful.

After Christina dies, she wants...
the other people in her life to be okay.

In conclusion, Christina says...
"Be true to yourself and recognize what your values are. Become self-aware of what those values are and to hold onto those things.

Hopefully those values are good values.

And don't let anybody shake those values from you."

Solo Ramble - 2020JUN18

Today, I ramble into the microphone while discussing some of the events ongoing in the world and how it will affect the podcast.

I hope you enjoy! :)

Cat Thomas - 2017NOV26

Cat Thomas! Cat is a 32yo expressive arts facilitator, a multi-modal artist, as well as a feline and canine caretaker. I met Cat through a network of lovely humans and she happened to work at Moffitt Cancer Center, next to my University of South Florida medical education. There, she facilitates a therapeutic expressive arts experience for caregivers and patients. During this conversation, we cover her journey to this work, her adventures in grandma's forest, and why she wants to die at 103.

I hope you enjoy! :)

Cat is...
an artist-in-residence,
and a proud dog owner.

Before Cat dies, she wants…
the field of expressive arts to be widely known,
and kids at some point.

When Cat dies, she wants...
a lot of people to come to her funeral,
for it to be a big party,
to be 103,
and to be active up until she dies.

After Cat dies, she wants...
to leave behind a legacy.

In conclusion, Cat says...
"Everyone: keep doing what you're doing.
Fight for what you think is right.
I just hope that everyone finds a passion and a purpose for what they're doing in life cause it makes life a lot better. I have found mine, finally. Taken a while, kind of meshing a lot of things together. It's good. That is my hope for everyone and humanity."

Morgan Allen - 2020MAY21

Morgan Allen! Morgan is a 30yo weightlifter, dog mom, and daughter. I met Morgan through her fiance, John Foley, my good friend and previous interviewee for the podcast. During this conversation, we discuss her father’s death by suicide, the evolution of her family dynamics, and the hurdles to starting her own family.

I hope you enjoy! :)

Morgan is...
a literal person,
a girl,
a sister,
a daughter,
a fiancee,
a dog mom,
and a weight lifter.

Before Morgan dies, she wants…
to start a family,
to find her tribe of support systems and friends and people around her,
and to figure out how to have true balance in life.

When Morgan dies, she wants...
to die peacefully and not in pain,
and her family and friends to not be left uncomfortable or burdened in anyway by her.

After Morgan dies, she wants...
life to go on.

In conclusion, Morgan says...
Look at everybody around you and be a little bit more open.

John Foley - 20180927

John Foley! John is a 29yo athlete, brother, and lover. I met John the first weeks of freshman year at Tufts University, over a decade ago, and we have been close friends ever since. During this conversation, we discuss his combative relationship with religion, the roast of his grandmother at her funeral, and why he is learning statistics on his commute to work.

I hope you enjoy! :)

John is...
a salesperson,
a family person,
a middle child of three,
a son to an amazing mom and dad,
a boyfriend to this incredible weightlifter,
a doggy daddy,
29 years old,
and engulfed in his current career.

Before John dies, he wants...
to be able to establish a new home, stability,
and establish some kind of legacy.

When John dies, he wants...
people around him to be happy.

After John dies, he wants...
whatever stability he was able to develop in his life to continue into the lives of friends and family.

In conclusion, John says...
“Something that was immediately apparent in thinking through the third prompt of ‘When I die, I want…’ is that I haven’t been thinking about my own mortality and I joke with people about a little trip to the ER or some kind of medical thing that comes up, i’m just like aw no it’s okay i’m just getting older. But that just getting older isn’t gonna stop and that is eventually going to become either you’re sick or just a limited expiration date on you. It is a good thought exercise to go through.”

Colin Kirts - 2020APR23

Colin Kirts! Colin is a 33yo teacher, father, and co-creator of Koru Real Wellness in Doylestown, PA. I met Colin when I met his business partner Dayana Pereira, a previous interviewee for the podcast. During this conversation, we discuss Colin’s Catholic upbringing and how a trip to Scandinavia opened his eyes to the wider world, how he spent the years during his hippie commune phase, and how a rabbi became his elder mentor.

I hope you enjoy! :)

Colin is...
Excited,
very present,
and comfortable.

Before Colin dies, he wants...
to know he’s contributed enough.

When Colin dies, he wants...
to be conscious in a pleasant way.

After Colin dies, he wants...
to allow for whatever is to happen,
and most people to exist in a way that is mostly pleasurable.

In conclusion, Colin says...
“I firmly believe that the potential for humanity is extraordinary and we haven’t maximized it. We’ve barely even scratched the surface of what’s possible for us as a species and as a global community.”

Randall Sheffield Once Again - 20181025

Randall Sheffield! Randall is a 29yo doctor of physical therapy, yogi, and friend. Since our previous conversation about 18mo ago, Randall has graduated from PT school, developed himself spiritually, and stepped into his role as a speaker and teacher. During this conversation, we discuss how Gainesville, FL kicked off his spiritual journey, why he hasn’t touched a barbell in weeks, and Randall relates a recent brush with mortality off the beach of Costa Rica.

I hope you enjoy! :)

Randall is...
this being,
this energetic source,
and here right now living the best life he can.

Before Randall dies, he wants...
to affect a million people,
and to go to a slackline festival out in Utah.

When Randall dies, he wants...
it to be peaceful,
and to be with his family and friends.

After Randall dies, he wants...
to be buried with the trees.

In conclusion, Randall says...
“To anyone listening that may be dealing with something that they have weighing on their heart, I would tell them to run at it head on, to go for it, to take the risk, because you never know until you try. Yes, it may be scary, it may be frightening, there may be a whole lotta fear. But in essence, you looking at it and you just being, 'alright yeah this is scary, but this is what I feel like I’m here to do,' and by acting out of courage or faith, whatever you want to call it, taking that initial step, the universe will back you up and will help you get you to where you need to go.”

2020 Season Prospective

For this 2020 Season Prospective, I reflect on the winter hibernation away from this podcast and from writing my weekly reflections. I consider the coming season of this podcast: I preview and contextualize the interviews I’ve already recorded. And I wish you, the audience, well and hope you are taking care of yourself during this time of uncertainty.

I hope you enjoy! :)

Rahul Paul - 20170511

Rahul Paul! Rahul is a 26yo Hindu-raised Bangledeshi, a third year medical student interested in emergency medicine, and a scientist. During this conversation, we discuss the relatable story of Krishna, the value of earned perspective, and why you should breathe into your balls.

I hope you enjoy! :)

Rahul is...
a citizen of the universe,
very lost,
and a scientist.

Before Rahul dies, he wants...
to continue his breadth of experiences,
to visit every continent,
to see aliens,
and to build free clinics.

When Rahul dies, he wants...
to be healthy,
a conversation of closure with his loved ones,
to inspire others.

After Rahul dies, he wants...
Answers,
and things to keep going.

In conclusion, Rahul says...
"There's always an answer to every problem. As lost as you may feel sometimes, if you seek the right person for help, be open to the fact that there is an answer, then things will change. Don't be steadfast in your views, rigid like a stick. Be like Bruce Lee: flow like water."

Lui Espinoza - 20170302

Lui Espinosa! Lui is a 31yo second year medical student, a burgeoning philosopher-physician, and a runner. He has stood out among my classmates as a human with lived experiences and earned wisdom. During this conversation, you'll learn about the death of his grandfather as well as his Portuguese friend Hannibal, his setbacks and obstacles while growing up and attaining his education, and his joy of life throughout it all.

I hope you enjoy! :)

Lui is...
a sensor,
growing into his role as a physician,
a runner,
a wee bit of a climber,
and eventually a philosopher-physician.

Before Lui dies, he wants...
to be ready,
and to make good out of bad.

When Lui dies, he wants...
to get better at saying goodbye.

After Lui dies, he wants...
things to go well for the people in his life.

In conclusion, Lui says...
“I’d be remiss if I didn’t finish with a ‘Thank you’, so thank you very much.”

Caroline Wilson - 20180412

Caroline Wilson! Caroline is a 19yo college student, positive human, and survivor of a traumatic brain injury. I met Caroline while coaching crew in New Hampshire for Great Bay Rowing, and she served as a right-hand coxswain for the team. During one of our dryland practices, she fell and hit her head on cement. This caused a 2wk-long Elmer Fudd stutter and a long road to recovery. Luckily, she had her grandmother nearby, who underwent chemotherapy at the time. In this lovely conversation, we discuss the plastic nature of memories especially when you have impaired long-term memory, how a positive reframe of a situation can change your outlook on life, and the nature of social crutches and how they help us function.

I hope you enjoy! :)

Caroline is...
Caroline,
from Durham,
a student at UNH,
and a kind person.

Before Caroline dies, she wants...
to make other people happy,
to be happy herself,
and to travel.

When Caroline dies, she wants...
people to remember the positives,
and to not be sad.

After Caroline dies, she wants...
people to look back at the memories,
and people to be kind to each other.

In conclusion, Caroline says...
“Be a kind person. Go out tomorrow and make someone happy because it’ll make you feel better as a person.”

Pooja Jayaprakash - 20170413

Pooja Jayaprakash! Pooja is 23yo second year medical student and Indian woman with a liberal arts background. I met Pooja during the first week of med school and I have known that she would make an outstanding guest on the podcast. During this conversation, we discuss growing up Indian in Utah, imagining her mixed-race children, resisting the draw of medicine, and the death of her 109yo grandfather with his complicated legacy.

I hope you enjoy! :)

Pooja is...
Pooja,
an Indian lady living in Tampa with her husband,
and a second year medical school student.
Before Pooja dies, she wants...
to be on good terms with the people she loves.
When Pooja dies, she wants...
to be cremated.
After Pooja dies, she wants...
to be remembered fondly, if at all.
In conclusion, Pooja says...
"I would talk to James and say: I love you."

Meg Scott - 20170216

Meg Scott! Meg is a 23yo well-rounded second-year medical student, a follower of Christ, and a runner. I’m honored to call this deeply intelligent human my friend and I look forward to keeping tabs on her future career in surgery. In this conversation, we explore her relationship with Christ, how karate and horseback riding can teach you how to teach, and what the death of her close friend’s father taught her about death.

I hope you enjoy! :)

Meg is…
a follower of Christ,
a well-rounded medical student,
and driven.
Before Meg dies, she wants…
her life to glorify God and make him known,
to be a mom,
and to be a good doctor.
When Meg dies, she wants…
to have an impact on people’s lives so that she is remembered for Christ,
and to have peace.
After Meg dies, she wants…
there to be a celebration,
and her children to follow her example.
In conclusion, Meg says…
“Thank you for listening. My biggest prayer for all of you is that you would get to have this peace that I have, that surpasses all understanding, that guards my heart and mind, in Jesus Christ. And you can find that through Jesus Christ and accepting him as your savior”

Anna Shon - 20170105

Anna Shon! Anna is a 57yo mother of two, a devoted Catholic, and a good friend. In this conversation, we talk about the death of her parents and how this influenced her own vision for end of life, her aversion to burials, and her optimism for the future.

I hope you enjoy! :)

Anna is…
a mother of two, a wife, a good friend, and a good worker.
Before Anna dies, she wants…
her children to have a good family, to be a grandmother, and to help people that need help.
When Anna dies, she wants…
to die in sleep, and to clean.
After Anna dies, she wants…
to be part of the earth.
In conclusion, Anna says…
“If you’re still young, if you have a lot of openings in the future, study. Study hard as much as you can and achieve your goal. Do not procrastinate. Always be diligent. Do your job till its done. Be honest. Give a lot of love and you’ll get love back.”